I have the sunday night blues. I didn't really get out of bed all week and now I feel the pressure to jump right back into regular life. But I don't really have the energy for my day job, Apartment Therapy, this blog and having a life. Sigh.
I also haven't mentioned (or have been coy about) the fact that even though they finished repairing my flooded bedroom a while ago, I'm still staying with my boyfriend. So I haven't been living at home. That place that I write about. Every Day. And now when I visit it, it's like visiting a sick friend. It kind of smells wierd, and I can remember having fun with it but it seems very distant. Also it feels cold now. So even though every day I say: this is the night I'm going to sleep at home! I end up at the boyfriend's (I mean, he has food in the fridge and cable! and a dishwasher). And I feel mildly guilty for abandoning my place like this. I mean, I didn't want to be there after surgery or anything. It was wierd.
And now today I bought some new furiture for it (oh cause I sold my couch so the living room was kind of...empty) but still I'm at the boyfriend's. I want to have more time to be at home. And just sit. Or do laundry. But not have so many responsibilities in a day. What I would really like is to have another week or 2 off from everything to just do whatever I want with. Whether at home or not. I've just been going going going for months now and the appendicitis was kind of a blessing cause it let me off the hook for a bit.
Sorry for being down, but I think you guys get it.
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6 comments:
Honey, just go ahead and ask for more time off at aptthpy, hang out at the office and be of help getting the project done. For pity's sake you had emergency SURGERY just over a week ago. This is an important part of learning how to take care of and careing for yourself. Remember-human being, not human doing. I love you, get a massage, buy yourself more flowers and take it easy until your energy regenerates. Lv MOM
I think it's very telling of your feelings toward your apartment.
You should move to Hollywood! Much more spacious from what I hear, and rents are cheaper.
Also, you do lead a very hectic life, but you make it seem so easy. I never would have guessed it was getting to you.
Buck up, champ. The Holiday Season™ is around the corner.
oh, i totally know what you're going through. when i moved into my little apt, it was so incredibly depressing, because i had just gotten rid of all my stuff. i stayed with my BF for almost 5 months before i finally felt like it was my home. i know you've already been there and loved your place, but its okay that its taking you time to warm up to it again. just go spend some time there each day and you'll feel more comfortable. im sure being sick makes it all feel a little overwhelming too...
and i'd never advocate moving to Hollywood...but Highland Park sure is nice! :)
I totally get it.
Between two blogs, tons of random other online projects and the job that actually allows me to live, I'm never at my home to enjoy it.
It is strange talking about all these beautiful things and then realizing you don't even have the time to enjoy your own beautiful things. I find irony in the fact that I'm a design blogger, yet I spend so much time blogging about design that I rarely have time to practice it in my life.
It's a bit depressing.
Take a mini-vacation, and spend it at a place you love -- home. You deserve it.
Kim, Dean, I love you guys. Thanks for the understanding. I think a change is in order or at least a little break!
When you feel down it's a sign that a breakthrough to something wonderful is on the horizon. Keep the faith.
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